Let’s Talk About Love

Did you know I am a huge Celine Dion fan? When we were in high school, my sister and I used to put on shows in dress-up clothes while blasting her songs on the boombox. This song is our all-time favorite, but “Let’s Talk About Love” is a close second for me.

So let’s talk about it!

A blog reader sent me an email sharing this interview with life coach Brooke Castillo on a podcast called Bold New Mom. I listened to the interview and loved it, so I followed Brooke back to her own podcast and listened to an episode on the same topic that they referenced during the show called Someone To Love.

I LOVED the message they shared in both episodes.

Here’s a synopsis of what’s inside from Brook’s show notes:

In my most recent in-person training, we had two students who were having trouble with their husbands. They were frustrated and felt like their marriages could be better.

After I got done coaching one of these students, she asked me what the point of having a husband was, and she was stunned by my answer – just so you have someone to love.

So many of us often get confused about the reasons why we get married. We have a lot of desires and needs and expect our partners to fulfill those things; and when they don’t, we tend to use it as a cause for frustration.

On this episode of The Life Coach School, we’re taking a deep dive into relationships.  We cover how you can use life coaching tools like The Model, Emotional Adulthood, and The Manual to improve your relationships and enjoy them to best of your ability.

What I found to be the biggest light bulb moment for me was when Brooke says she said to her husband: “Hey, I’ll meet my needs, you meet your needs, and the rest of it is just a great time. Anything else is just gravy.”

Our partners aren’t there to make us happy – WE have to make ourselves happy. Our partners are there to have fun and to be the object of our affection. Brooke talks about how you can’t expect your husband to suddenly bring you flowers on Valentine’s Day if you haven’t told him you want them, and you absolutely can’t get mad if he doesn’t do something you haven’t told him you’d like to do!  She talks about how so many women have a manual of how a partner should act and when he doesn’t act that way (because you can’t change someone) they get frustrated, disappointed, mad, etc. We are supposed to love our partners unconditionally – which means we don’t have a list of conditions they have to meet first. I can’t explain it as well as she can – go listen! I listened to it twice and it was even better the second time.

Also on the podcast front, for any of you single ladies out there, Jess Lively shared her personal thoughts about her future partner, and I thought she brought up some great ideas. She reminded us that her future partner is alive and breathing out there… right now! That is pretty cool to think about. People you will meet in the future already exist  out there in their own version of the world – you just haven’t met yet. Her episode on Internal and External Love & Approval was really good too.

I read this book last year and it was packed with great advice. It was clear, well-written, honest and very practical. I particularly liked the parts about the Five Dimensions of Chemistry. The author takes something very subjective (love) and makes you look at it as objectively as possible. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who hasn’t quite settled down into a relationship yet.

Finally, here are two love songs that I’ve been listening to: Miranda Lambert “Pushin’ Time” (sent to me by one of you!) and Blake Hunter “Every Single Piece.”

Also Celine Dion. On repeat

(Flashback to last fall in Hillsborough!)

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